I’m OK you’re OK… Well, I’m OK Anyway

So what am I learning through all this self exploration? I don’t really know except that while all the components of my personality are not for everyone, as a whole they make up ME. I have to be able to love myself and I do, just the way I am. I’m a moderately overweight, aging, medical marijuana smoking writer/photographer who jumps into everything with both feet. If problems arise I fix them and move on. I don’t find too many obstacles in life, just roadblocks and detours. If I want something I keep moving the route until I find a way to get to my destination.

My mind is constantly sifting through the data that assails my senses looking for only the fragments that will give me a true picture of how things REALLY are, not the perceptions people are trying to give me. So now I’m trying to sift my own data to get a clear read on who I really am.

I am a good judge of people and I notice things that other people may not. I notice subtle changes in mood and demeanor. I know when someone is trying to get something for nothing. I know when someone likes a gift I’ve given them on not, even though they swear they do when they don’t. I can spot a liar from afar, standing over there next to the thieves.

My perceptive nature carries over into my online relationships with people. I have been online since before there were graphics on the Internet, heck, I’ve been online since before the Internet was open to the public. (I remember getting special permission to have a look around because I was a magazine editor at the time.) I have had online business partners I never met but worked very well with, I’ve collaborated with other writers online, I’ve maintained friendships for close to two decades, I have been hired online, had jobs as long as 3 years without ever meeting my bosses… I can read people. That makes some people extremely uncomfortable, especially those who are not being honest with me about something. People make a mistake too when they write me off as clueless because I’m far from it.

I’m not saying I haven’t been had a time or two but let me tell you, those experiences that haven’t killed me have made me that much stronger and more determined than ever to find my peace in life.

One thing I don’t get about the human race is how everyone has this exaggerated sense of entitlement. Everything has to be perfect. There’s no molding and shaping things to fit together for the common good. It has to come preassembled and in perfect working order right out of the box.

If there is one thing I’ve learned in the last five years it’s that people aren’t disposable. I don’t toss my friends and family members aside when they do something that displeases me or that I disapprove of. I love them because they are unique and I respect that they have made their own decisions in life using the brain God gave them. I often wonder why I’m not given the same consideration. People are so quick to judge me and I’m not having it anymore. God is the only judge whose gavel carries weight with me.

All I can tell you is that I know that my motives are pure, I know I live by the Golden Rule and that my love is generous and sincere. I don’t lie, cheat or steal. I have paid back all my bad Karma from my early years and nothing but good things should be coming my way now. If I die tomorrow, I’m okay with how I’ve lived my life.

I have nothing I’m ashamed of, nothing to hide and I know I’m a good person. I’m OK.